for the budget friendly istaylista

I went out for lunch with colleagues today. Again, the conversation revolves around relationships gone sour.

What makes other relationships last long and other’s not?

Is there a concrete formula for success in a relationship?

As individuals, we have to become our own person, to grow and develop to our highest potential. Once you get involved in a relationship, you somehow let go of that individuality. Just like marriage.

But when a relationship gone sour, we still ask, what went wrong? Did you have enough space to grow? Or was it “familiarity breeds contempt”?  A colleague pointed out that it’s not because that in a relationship you do things together and end up fighting over silly things.

Just like marriage, the couple involve should be willing to work it out and compromise. Just like marriage, the husband and wife has to work as a team.

Here’s my should’s.

In a relationship, both individual should be willing to compromise and talk about their differences. Maturity should be a factor here.

In a relationship, both individual should have interest outside the relationship. It’s great that both have common interests but it should have something other than that common interest. Like a membership to an organization the other is not involve in. Like different work responsibilities or office.

More than anything, I look for great chemistry first. Second, I look for great and honest character in a person. Third, we should work well together in terms of looking at things and situations. Let’s say like having the same principles. We value the same important things in life.

Plurk is the new twitter. Now that shout out features are found every where, in every social networking sites, Plurk has been created to update all of that in site. Just like twitter.

I just registered a few days ago to plurk and it has worked beautifully for me. It helped update my multiply, facebook and blog site in one go. Now, I am trying to increase my positive karma.

Good Stuff!

Since life has become so monotonous for me again, I got crazy with borrowing other people’s life drama.

I’ve Learned

With the sudden change in management, the girls in the office, with one guy who insisted he tags along, decided to go out together and watch a movie. That was a first for us. I’ve learned that an officemate and I both liked barbecue flavor for our popcorn. She is as crazy with Blueberry Cheesecake like me and another officemate. This officemate also happen to not know how to slide out from the backseat of a car.

I get really apprehensive about letting people into my life that I miss out on knowing them a lot better. It’s either I let them know me and take advantage of me or keep them at an arm’s length away and not get too involved with their personal life so I won’t be obliged to have them take advantage of me. I’ve been told that I trust people too darn much up to a point that I hardly say no. So I’ve learned to stay away. But staying away made me realize that other people do deserve to be treated like a true friend that they can also be to me. Sometimes when I meet a person for the first time, I get really friendly with them or that I get too cautious being around them The thing is, I haven’t really decided if I can trust this person or not.

Moving On

An officemate ended her relationship and man what a mess. Seeing her come in to the office really sad reminded me of what was. She got really sad and pissed, I guess, that the guy was already going out and meeting people. Do some people really moved on so fast? Or is it their way of seeing, “Hey look, we are no longer together and it doesn’t really affect me at all.”? Someone said,” Moving on is not a race.”

During our recent weekend outing, the Boss asked,” does it take for new person to come along to get over a past relationship?” The girls answered,” It depends.” I think that some girls are insecure that they have to be in a relationship to get over someone. I think that some girls take too long to move on because lets face it these girls get into a relationship that they want to keep forever. Okay, count me in. Boss said something like, boys equal “physical”. Then I think girls equals “emotional”.

The topic got me thinking. It took me more than a year to get over someone. More than a year, damn it! I just deleted his number in my phone a week before the outing. What a coincidence. I do think that we should deal with the break up issues before getting involved with another person. Yes, I still think about the person. And I still see him but not like we used to. I don’t feel the chemistry we used to have before. And to be really frank about it, I tried hard not to yawn about something we were talking about. But still, he is able to make me laugh. So yeah, I’ll give him that. Here’s the thing, when you think about the past relationship, does that mean you are not over that relationship yet?

Crazy Break Up

…can’t even talk about it…so crazy and so darn funny! Especially when he confronted his girlfriend and he said this really heart wrenching question like it was taken out of a movie and the girl can only respond with a,” hmpf..” Hahaha!

He said he likes his girl to just sit and just let him do all the work. He likes to please his girl. He did say to his girlfriend at one time that she is the one he wanted to marry.

My two cents worth?

So the guy is a pleaser when it comes to his relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. But, was he making all the decisions for the girl thinking that this was the best for the girl? Also, if he did think he scared the girl away when he talked about marriage, how old was the girl anyway? Is she the type of girl who wants to do and achieve a lot of things before getting married? It was just a thought. I don’t think he was asking her to marry him right then and there. He was just talking about the future of their relationship. Couldn’t the girl talk to him about what she feels about marriage or getting married to him? Sorry, from here on, I can only speculate.

Warning! Adult content right after this line. Read at your own risk.

Sexual Fantasies

There was talk about how guys can’t talk about their sexual fantasies with their girlfriend or wife. They keep saying how they respect their girl or wife to be talking about fantasies. He keeps saying it’s because of fear of being rejected or be thought of someone who is a pervert. Or something like it.

You know if you are intimate with your girl, and I am surprised that even with their wife, I think talking about sex and fantasies should be no problem. It only takes an open-mind and a whole lot of loving.

Then…….

Rimming!!! Wahahahahahaahhaha… This one beats it. I read women magazine that has adult content to it. But never, not once, have they written about this. Thanks to the boys for being so descriptive. Wahahahhahahahaha....This is killing me! Wahahahahaha..

blogged by an old friend PARUTH site. something that i want to share for the loveless and hopefuls.

Sometimes, love dies. And there is no easy explanation for it. Some of us see it coming. Some of us don’t. But most of us try not to see it at all. Because it is easier to pretend that all is well rather than admit that your dreams have been shattered and you are left only with the broken pieces of your heart.

It hurts to imagine the person we love with someone else. It hurts to no longer be the object of his affections. It hurts to no longer be the center of his universe. It hurts to no longer be wanted. It hurts to be discarded, replaced and dumped unceremoniously like an old rag that has outlived its usefulness. It hurts to no longer be loved. But it happens everyday to the best among us-to the beautiful, the kind, the talented, the smart, the successful, the multi- awarded. It happens to the perfect wife, sister, friend and mother. It happens to the civic leader, the CEO, the cover girl. Whether or not it’s something we did or didn’t do, sometimes, love just dies. And overthinking (as my sister would say) would serve no purpose.

To be loved is a blessing. But to no longer be loved is not necessarily a tragedy. We’ve been raised since childhood to believe that love must last forever. And perhaps it must.

But isn’t it possible to simply be happy for the love you have no matter if it doesn’t last forever? Isn’t it possible to simply savor the moment and become richer by it without wanting to possess it forever? Isn’t it possible to love and let go and love again? Isn’t it possible to love forever but to love different people over time?

It’s all right to no longer be loved. It’s all right to stop loving. It’s all right to mourn for love’s losses but to condemn yourself to a life of misery because your love did not last forever is foolhardy. If love must die, let it go peacefully into the night. But don’t keep score.

Love is not a contest. It is not a competition to see who emerges the prettiest, the craftiest or toughest. Love is what it is—a gift. It cannot be forced on anyone. Neither can it be forced out of anyone. So let it be.

When love dies, hold on to the memories. But let go of the one you love.